"The whole world is a stage
And all men and women who are not actors.
They have their exits and their entrances;
Each provides different parts in his life. "
(Shakespeare) And all men and women who are not actors.
They have their exits and their entrances;
Each provides different parts in his life. "
Maslow, a founder of humanistic psychology, believes that 98% of people would be neurotic and the remaining 2% would be composed of people who through a long process of development and growth on himself, have exceeded the neurosis. According to Maslow neurosis is, rather than a disease, a human condition to start.
Within the Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy neurotic roles are activated within the games. What is a game? Eric Berne, founder of Transactional Analysis defines the game: "The psychological game is a series of transactions more repetitive which is followed by a twist with an exchange of roles, a sense of confusion accompanied by an unpleasant state of mind as the final pay-off in terms of reinforcing negative beliefs about itself, on the other, on the world. " The game is a kind of interpersonal relationship "disturbed" that causes unpleasant moods.
Why do people gamble? What are the reasons why you are using a relational way of this kind? To clarify this aspect must be said about the theme of "structure of time" and "hungers". The methods used to structure the time being human to "feed" of strokes, in other words, systems are to give and receive recognition and caresses. The "game" is also a way to meet the family of primary stimuli and rewards. Compared with isolation, rituals, pastimes and activities to the games allow people a strong emotional and relational, although negative. In the game you prefer in practice to receive or give any negative strokes instead of caress.
Stephen Karpman has devised a simple and powerful tool for analyzing games: the dramatic triangle. Whenever we play the "games" we enter one of these three roles of the script:
· Victim
· Persecutor
° Salvatore
All three dramatic roles of the triangle are inauthentic. When a person is in one of these roles to respond "There and Then" going-rather than the "Here and Now"-present-, using the old script of decisions adopted by the child or received by parents.
neurotic roles, as are three different styles of music: although there are many rock songs, a rock song still belongs to rock style, a country song belongs to the country style. Similarly, the roles are negative communicational styles of fund through which we play all our games and then expose to the world our flaws, tricks and hooks to be able to engage and manipulate others. The roles are part of the racket manipulative (feelings-blackmail) and games that make up the "script" of a person. It happens sometimes that someone is playing a certain game in imitation of his parents, but usually the games are conducted by the Child ego state, that when it does start to "hook" to the child or the parent of others. The purpose of the manipulative role is to provoke or invite others to react in specific ways designed to reinforce the initial psychological positions of the Child. Observed by an external point of view these behaviors appear paradoxical and even comic, but in fact are the result of illiteracy emotional and behavioral cause of enormous suffering, disruption of family, of painful separation. We all tend to face life by preference to the games from a position favored. It is not always clear who interprets it as this is his favorite role: it may happen that we behave in a certain way and instead we have the feeling of behaving in a totally different way. It is not uncommon, for example, that a person who feels victim pursued in reality those around him.
should be noted that these (victim, persecutor, Salvatore) roles are "legitimate" if they are not recited but applied in a real situation, when these three roles will appear with a lowercase letter refer a legitimate role. " Such roles are "legitimate" as follows:
- victim who is in possession of a qualification for a job that he is instead denied for reasons of race, gender or religion (eg Jews).
- persecutor: someone who needs to establish limits on behavior or whose job is to enforce the rules (eg the police).
- savior, inadequate for a person who helps rehabilitate and especially to regain confidence in itself (for example, the counselor).
These roles become "illegitimate", when used to manipulate the other three roles-when they appear with capital letters refer a ruoli illegittimi e manipolativi-. Analizziamoli insieme.
1.1. Il primo ruolo comunicazionale nevrotico: la Vittima.
“Gli strumenti della mente diventano ceppi quando l’ambiente che li rese necessari ha cessato di esistere”
H. Bergson.
Nel ruolo della Vittima lo stato dell’Io agito è quello del Bambino Adattato negativo. E’ il ruolo di colui che si adatta anche quando la situazione non lo richiede: questo non facilita il proprio e altrui benessere. La sua posizione esistenziale è IO non sono OK, TU sei OK. Ad esempio chi non è qualificato per fare un lavoro ma sostiene che questo gli è negato per motivi di razza, sesso o religione. La Vittima finge di non essere mai forte.
La caratteristica basilare della Vittima è che non ama la responsabilità, in altre parole cerca di trovare assolutamente un capro espiatorio, qualcuno cui incolpare dei propri errori.
In che modo la Vittima manipola? La Vittima tende ad instillare il senso di colpa nel Persecutore, poiché la Vittima ha deciso che è lui l’origine della sua sofferenza, e cerca di far sì che il Salvatore si attivi nel tentativo di aiutarla. La Vittima è all’inconsapevole ricerca di un Persecutore o di un Salvatore: di un Persecutore con cui alla fine colluderà sentendosi rifiutato o sminuito, di un Salvatore con cui colluderà nel credere di aver bisogno del suo aiuto per pensare o per agire.
E’ un percorso arcaico adottato in età in cui le alternative apparivano molto ridotte, oppure “imitato” osservando qualche modello familiare. In ogni caso non è il risultato di una scelta libera e matura. La Vittima sfrutta questa sua edizione di “povertà” enfatizzandola ulteriormente per ottenere attraverso questa condizione, il massimo d’attenzione, di riconoscimento e d’aiuto dagli altri. La persona che assume questo ruolo tende a lamentarsi e non a chiedere direttamente. E’ in continua posizione d’attesa e di pretesa dagli altri e rimane stupita e offesa quando gli altri non comprendono i suoi bisogni, quando non capiscono their unexpressed desires. The victim is oversensitive in interpreting the events as a lot of conspiracies against him, as injustice that "everyone" are against it. From this position of great psychological distress is passed easily to the role of persecutor attacking and accusing people and events to put order in the face of such injustice.
VICTIM
says:
hide pain and weakness: strength
1.2 The second communicative role: the persecutor.
It 's the role played by those who act primarily the negative Parent ego state, in other words by those standards, rules and limits that increase the discomfort and dependence. In this case we are faced with an existential position I'm OK, You're not OK, because who does the Parent negative is often critical and devaluing. For example, who sets the limits of behavior unnecessarily restrictive, or has the duty to enforce the rules, it does so with sadistic brutality. The persecutor pretends never to be weak.
the persecutor assume power over others by force, threat, through aggression and violence (eg in the model offered by the Avengers movie: Rambo, Charles Bronson and Bruce Lee). The persecutors have always been a just cause, a vested right to be violent, so they can punish others. Using intimidation Inquisition, playing a manipulative game, that rather than bring justice in the world, serves to create a court of Persons subject to master and use. Aggression is not always physical, but often is verbal, moral and psychological. Sarcasm, criticism, strong opinions and sharp, arrogant attitude, are his weapons. The effect of this sort is the confusion and fear, so that the victim ends up doing what the persecutor's orders. Observing an external point of view, we can see what the persecutor, when criticism or becomes aggressive, offends and wounds, acting on their own behaviors that blames the other and from which claims to defend.
PERSECUTOR
says:
hidden strength and aggression: fear and weakness
communicational 1.3 The third role: the Savior.
The Savior is a role where it acts mostly negative Nurturing Parent ego state, in other words, the apparently protective of us but, in reality, does not promote growth and independence of the other. The existential position of those who assume this role and I am OK, you're not OK, because it devalues \u200b\u200bthe skills of the other. For example, who under the guise of helping others to keep them in a state of dipendenza. Il Salvatore finge di non avere mai bisogno.
Il Salvatore, preoccupandosi dei bisogni altrui, di fatto aiuta gli altri in quegli ambiti in cui essi, farebbero bene ad aiutarsi da soli. Egli aiuta la Vittima, ma le permette di restare Vittima, assumendosi responsabilità per cose di cui essa dovrebbe prendersi carico da se.
Il Salvatore vive un cattivo rapporto con se stesso e cerca di riscattare il senso di colpa o l’immagine negativa che ha di se, con azioni meritorie. Il “guadagno” affettivo di queste attività sociali in eccesso, non si limita a soddisfare il bisogno psicologico interno di una propria “nobile” immagine, ma ha come ulteriore effetto di rimanere in credito dagli altri e di potersi wait gratitude and appreciation. These behaviors, often unaware they have a strong emotional power. " When playing the role of the Savior the person is an apparent momentary relief from his loneliness, his isolation to create the illusion of living a loving relationship. This creates the paradox of aid given to their need, in which the aid is not required can be grasped as an invasion, an abuse of suffocating. The Savior has a great fear of being abandoned, of not being recognized in their needs and ends up being the first to not be recognized, tries to solve the other exactly what we would do well to resolve itself. The role of the Savior consente alla persona di acquistare un’identità di fronte a se stessa ed un riconoscimento sociale di cui ha estremo bisogno. Costruisce una facciata di grandezza, generosità ed altruismo per coprire un senso d’inadeguatezza, d’inutilità e di vuoto. Il riconoscimento sociale, anziché essere complementare, diventa fondante ed essenziale. Gli altri diventano così la fonte prevalente del benessere, della gratificazione e del successo, realizzando il paradosso in cui il Salvatore “dipende” dagli altri: da coloro che hanno bisogno d’aiuto e da coloro che gli riconoscono la sua generosità. E’ facile comprendere come il ruolo di Salvatore spinga la persona a vivere il fallimento come un disagio proprio, una sconfitta personale, una perdita di significato della propria persona e della propria esistenza. Tutto questo risulta intollerabile e scatena una vera e propria disperazione “aggressiva”; La paura di non valere, di non avere diritto ad esistere, di non essere riconosciuto, proprio da chi avrebbe avuto il dovere di farlo scatena una rabbia focalizzata verso il proprio interlocutore: è così che il Salvatore finisce per assumere il ruolo del Persecutore.
SALVATORE
esprime: bontà ed interesse
nasconde: bisogni personali e solitudine
1.4 Come agiscono i ruoli all’interno del triangolo drammatico?
"Those who can not remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
G. Santayana
Stephen Karpman who created this form, reads as follows:
"When you analyze the play three roles are enough to describe the emotional reversal that in reality is all of the drama. These roles of action, in contrast to the roles of identity to which we have spoken are the persecutor, the Savior, the Victim: P, S, V, in the diagram. The drama begins when these roles are established or provided by the public. Without role reversal there is drama ... The play is very similar to games transactional, but contains more exchange event, and often a person reads two or three roles at once. Also the games are very simple and the exchange of role is most evident in them. For example, in the game "I'm just trying to help" in the drama triangle is a rotation (most clockwise) roles: the victim becomes the persecutor and the victim becomes Salvador. "
Here is an example of interactive drama in a familiar triangle:
Son (in the role of persecutor, angrily raised his voice against the mother)
"You know I hate blue. And I go to buy another blue shirt! "
Mother: (as victims)
"Do you never do anything right."
Father: (as the mother of Salvatore, a persecutor of the child)
"Do not you dare raise your voice against your mother, young man. Go to your room and no dinner. "
Son (now assumed the role of victim and walks away sulking)
" They tell me the truth, and when I would say that I do not like me complain. Some people are never happy. "
Mother: (now it has become Salvatrice and smuggled food to her son)
" Do not tell your father. It 's absurd to do so much fuss over a shirt. "
Mother: (as Persecutor of turning to the father)
"Peter you're so tough with your son. I bet right now you hate. "
Father (as victims)
" But honey, I was just trying to help you and you hit me right where I regret most. "
Son (uscendosene Salvatore)
"Come on, Mom, stop, Dad is just tired."
The following is a list of the games most often from the positions of the Triangle dramatic
Persecutor : · I've caught the son of a bitch
; Defects
· Court
• If it were not for you
; · Rape
· Look what you made me do
· Angle
; · Clumsy bungler
· yes, but
; • Before you, not now ...
Salvatore : I'm just trying · help
· What would you do without me?
· Knight
; Is happy to be useful · be happy to have known me
Victim: Take me to kick ·
• Why it always happens to me?
Stupid ·
· wooden leg
Poor me ·
Watch · and thieves
; · Alcoholic, drug addict
· Look that m 'did you do
To end we analyze in more detail some of the games mentioned above .
Take me to kick
Think of a chess game where the player moves to the position of victims, saying: "Please know I'm not much, but be nice, do not take me kicking" . Player B for a while 'there is, like playing cat and mouse position (Salvatore), then after another expression of inadequacy of the player A passes in the position of persecutor and "stick" A, is surprised and disappointed that once again. They are similar games: "Clumsy bungler," "Handicap", "Not that I'm missing is the will." Look
m 'did you do!
Player A opens the game dealing with some work all by myself and perhaps a sigh (Victim), Player B, in the mood to help (Salvatore), gives him a hand is not required, that beginning is not it 'accepted ne'respinta, until such time as "fault" of the bore A, something is wrong and can finalmente dire stizzito “Guarda che m’ hai fatto fare” (Persecutore).
Prima si, adesso no…
Il giocatore A, sembra offrire una sua disponibilità a fare una cosa piacevole insieme a B (Salvatore). Il giocatore B, in un primo momento rifiuta (Vittima), e poi acconsente (Salvatore). Il giocatore A, a questo punto si arrabbia (Persecutore), mentre B si ritira offeso (Vittima). In questo gioco è più evidente che in altri l’inconsapevole finalità di evitare una maggiore intimità nel rapporto tra i partner.
Il Difetto
Il giocatore A (Persecutore) elargisce giudizi critici non richiesti, what in his opinion is not good at what he does B, his partner. Player B in the position of victim, if not the top picks. But then when the player A, is an additional defect, "that little thing which ruins everything," Player B implements the exchange, expressed his disappointment (persecutory) abruptly rejecting A, that there is very bad (Victim). A variation is when A (persecutory) you hear from the alleged clumsily away, while behind them is the list of defects.
1.5 Conclusions
aim of this study was to analyze the phenomenology of the dramatic triangle. We have seen how participation games involves a gain in terms of strokes, although negative, in this situation is a type of communication where the others are reduced to the level of objects (report I / It), deprived of their individuality and their value, excluding the opportunity to experience and express true feelings. One way to "happy" being-in-relationship, to get and give positive strokes directly, in a kind of dialogic relationship I / You, you can recognize their usual locations within the triangle drama, games and breaking out from Roles V, P, S. The actual gain will be experienced in terms of well - being and personal growth.
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