Here the thought of Anselm Grun , theologian, and Jungian psychoanalyst, about the dangers that can undermine a relationship of friendship and you can keep in mind to is that the friendship remains strong and alive between the two parties. Assuming that nothing is obvious in human relations or to give scontantata. The text is taken from: "The little book of friendship de Anselm Grün, Queriniana Editrice, Brescia, 2004, pp. 62-65.
" It is said that friendship functions. Four in particular are the dangers that threaten l'amicizia citati dagli scrittori. George Bernanos indica nella noia il nemico più grande : " Nessuna amicizia può resistere alla noia ". Quando gli amici non hanno più nulla da dirsi, quando si sono abituati l'uno all'altro ma non sono più aperti a qualcosa che va al di là di loro stessi, la noia ucciderà l'amicizia. Il flusso tra gli amici è interrotto. L'amicizia secca, si arena. La noia nasce ogni volta che la sorgente della fantasia e della creatività si inaridisce. Spesso la causa di tutto ciò è il nascondere all'altro i propri sentimenti. Ma quanto più ci si trattiene dall'esprimerle, tanto meno le emozioni possono fluire in noi e tra di noi. Perdiamo gradualmente la capacità to experience the beauty so intense. Less talk about our feelings and our experiences, plus the ability to live off something. This hardening becomes tedious. Each of the other two bores, rather than tell, full of enthusiasm, their experiences and emotions.
The second danger is excessive in the activity. Who is always busy, who takes refuge in work, not only has no time for friendship, but to become more incapable of being friends with another person. The best friends are not the people kissed the following year, but those who were affected by fate, who are aware of their weaknesses and limits. Friendship requires opening another. About stifles his feelings in a thousand activities, is unable to share them with friends. But who does not have anything to share can not be friends with anyone. Only those who can enjoy the friendship does not escape the poverty of the self. This was the conclusion reached by Goethe: "Only we poor, who have little or nothing is allowed to fully enjoy the joy of friendship. We have nothing but ourselves. And it is this that we have to give me completely." The
third danger is the lack of parity between the friends. "The preponderance of a party crowd Excessive friendship," says Baron Adolf von Knigge. If one puts the two friends as support, therapist, benefactor of the other, the friendship is destroyed. Friendship needs a 'me' and a 'you' on an equal footing. Each of the two gives something to another. Each enriches the other. If a relationship between the helpers and the helped is transformed into friendship, helping those who must give up his position of superiority and of his friend to catch up. If you continue to assume the role of parent or benefactor, in so doing destroys the friendship. The friend feels nice and be educated, but not loved for what it is. And this is no longer friends. The fourth threat
friendship, described by Ernst Raupauch, is connected to the third "The ecceso of good deeds weakens instead of strengthening the friendship . There are people who donate friends too. This gives rise to love the feeling that the other wants to buy his friendship. He will stifle this feeling, but soon the feeling repressed aggression and finally led him to hardness. And the hardened heart is incapable of friendship. In friendship there must be uneven as that between the rich and giving the poor person who receives, among the ignorant and the wise, between the healthy and the sick. Friendship requires equality among friends, or is at risk. "
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